Chapter Two: Life's Too Short to Finish the Book You Don't Love
How to embrace the DNF and move on to your next read
Welcome back!
Today I’m rambling about not finishing every book I start and how I’ve dramatically changed my mindset about this in the last few years. I hope this post inspires you to put down that book you’re not loving and find something new instead! If you want more bookish ramblings in your inbox, make sure to subscribe and share with anyone who might also resonate with these thoughts!
For most of my life, I’ve been a stick-it-out-until-the-end kind of reader. The type of reader who finished every book I started because I didn’t want to waste the time I’d already spent on it or the money I used to buy it. Not finishing a book felt like a failure on my part, especially if it was a popular book or one I felt like I “should” read.
Since I’ve always been a fast reader, it’s even more obvious when I’m not loving a book, and my mom could always tell when I was younger. If I was still dragging through the first few chapters of a book after a couple of days, she would size up the situation and ask me, “You don’t like that book, do you?” Determined to prove her wrong, I would double down on my efforts, forcing myself to finish books I didn’t love, which only led to a slower reading pace and, ultimately, disappointment. I assumed I would always continue this pattern, until I came to the realization that I don’t actually have to finish every book I start!
My introduction to the DNF
Joining Bookstagram in 2021 introduced me to a brand-new vernacular of bookish acronyms and terms. For example, my TBR pile is the stack of books that are “To Be Read” and an ARC is an Advance Reader Copy created by publishers before a book’s publication for reviews and early hype. But most importantly, I learned about the term DNF, or “Did Not Finish.” As the name implies, it refers to the books you set aside and don’t finish, but the acronym takes on a life of its own as a verb too. In the Bookstagram world, it’s common to hear someone say, “Oh, I DNF’d that book” or “I’ve been DNF’ing like crazy lately!” Suddenly there was a cute little phrase to describe what I’d always avoided, and it was time to evaluate whether I should keep forcing myself to finish books I wasn’t enjoying. In my early Bookstagram days, I still hesitated to publicly announce that I hadn’t finished a book, and I felt a lot of shame when I didn’t like a book that everyone else was gushing about. In online spaces where we talk about books and write reviews, there’s often a mentality that we all have to like the same books, which frustrates me so much (there’s a future Substack post brewing on this topic, I can just feel it!).
But then I remembered the beautiful thing about reading is that it’s all subjective. The book I love might be the same book that my friend hates. The book I’m in the mood for on the beach might not be considered very “literary,” but it’s perfect for me in the moment (I could also write an entire post about being a mood reader, and I probably will!). Reframing the DNF for myself was the first step I needed to break out of this pattern of unsatisfying reads.
The DNF versus the “Not Right Now”
To get myself comfortable with the concept of not finishing a book, I created two categories for myself: the DNF and the “Not Right Now.”
If I’m not feeling a book at any given time and classify it as a “Not Right Now,” I know that it’s an incredible book, but I’m not in the right mindset for it right now. Either the subject matter is difficult for me or I want to give it the time and space that it deserves. Putting a book back on my shelf with the understanding that I can come back to it someday takes away some of the pressure of not finishing it. For example, I started reading On the Savage Side by Tiffany McDaniel at the end of last year. It’s a gorgeously written book, but it also covers some really heavy topics like murder and drug abuse. Amidst the chaos of the holiday season, I knew I wasn’t in the right headspace for such a heavy book. I set it aside then, but when I came back to it this spring with a fresh mindset (and a buddy read partner!), I loved it so much. (If you’re interested, here’s my review.)
I classify a lot of books under “Not Right Now,” but my true DNFs are more subjective and personal. When I don’t like a book, I usually know in my heart of hearts if I’m probably not ever going to like it, whether that’s due to the topic or the writing. It doesn’t mean that someone else won’t like it or that the author is horrible—it just means it’s not for me and that’s okay! This process is all about trusting your gut, and your reading preferences will take shape the more you practice identifying what you don’t love in a book.
How to learn when to DNF
Reading should never feel like a chore, and if you’re dreading picking up your current read, it’s time to DNF! Maybe you’ll come back to that book when you’re in a different stage of life and actually love it, but for now, there’s no sense beating yourself up over it when there are millions of other books out there to enjoy.
These are the obvious giveaways that I should probably DNF my current read:
I dread picking it up and actively avoid reading it
I read it very slowly (obviously some genres like non-fiction deserve a little extra time, but I can tell when I’m not reading at my normal pace)
I spend more time picking apart its flaws than enjoying what it does well
Something about the writing is just not doing it for me
Having the confidence to put a book down and decide it’s not for you is honestly such a powerful thing. It goes against everything I’ve been taught about “finishing what I started,” but it’s also given me more agency in my reading journey. Even after years of developing certain reading habits or patterns, I always have the opportunity to adapt and change what’s not working for me!
Another tip for getting more comfortable with the DNF: Check out books from your local library! Library books allow you to experiment with new genres or books you might not typically pick up. I’m much more likely to DNF a library book I can easily return than a pricey hardcover book I already spent money on.
The power of the DNF
I’m living proof of how transformative this mindset change can be, and giving myself the freedom to DNF has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself in 2024. In March, I put down 5 books, and my average book rating that month was so much higher than usual! Instead of slogging through books I wasn’t enjoying, I spent more time appreciating books I really loved. Setting aside a book you’re not loving right now just might lead you to your next five star read instead.
So this is your reminder: There are actually no rules when it comes to reading for pleasure! Only you can make the decision to put a book down, and you don’t need to justify that decision to anyone else.
Important side note: While I encourage you to put down books you’re not loving, I’m certainly *not* advocating for you to be rude or hateful towards authors in any way. It takes a lot of time, energy, and brain power to write and produce a book, so you should never go out of your way to tell an author in person or online that you dislike their book. If you’re an active member of spaces like Bookstagram, you can respectfully write a review to explain why it wasn’t for you (without tagging the author of course), or you can also just keep it to yourself—that’s the beauty of the DNF!
If this post has inspired you to DNF, I want to hear about it! Leave a comment here or DM me on Bookstagram—I’m always eager to keep rambling about books.
What I’m eating in NYC right now (and the deals I found!)
One of the hardest parts of living in New York City is dealing with how expensive everything can be, especially food and drinks. As someone who finds a lot of joy in going out to eat, I often struggle to balance my love for trying new restaurants with my very real budget for the month. So I was thrilled when I tried these restaurant deals in the last month!
Gen Korean BBQ House: This Korean BBQ chain has a location near Union Square, and it might be one of the best deals I’ve encountered in the city. For $35, you get an all-you-can-eat dinner, and you can pick whatever you want from their expansive list of meats, appetizers, sauces, and sides. You’re not allowed to take home leftovers, and you do get charged for unfinished food (but we didn’t run into that problem!). I loved that I could try out new-to-me dishes, without feeling overwhelmed by the price of each plate. This is a great spot to try with friends!
Forma Pasta Factory: This fresh pasta spot has been on my list for a while, so I was excited to stop by their Fort Greene location. They offer a small menu of fresh, made-to-order pasta dishes, plus specials for each day of the week—I recommend the pipette ragu. Their pasta dishes are $13, and with an $18 wine + pasta option, it’s a great deal for NYC! We did have to wait in line, but there’s plenty of seating in a covered outdoor area.
Until next time, thank you for reading and rambling with me! I’m so grateful for all of the support after I shared my first post here, and I’ll be back with new writing on the second and fourth Thursday of each month.
Wishing you all the five star reads,
Katherine
I love that you made the distinction between DNFing and a "Not Right Now" book. I recently read Carrie Soto is Back after DNFing it a year ago with every intention of coming back to it at a better time. I'm so glad I did! (Also, this is Kayla from @okayletsread—love that you started a Substack!)
Love this and can relate!! My perfectionism used to get in the way, but now I DNF (and especially “not right now”) proudly!